A Heart's Disbelief
by Ripped of Sanity
Summary: Edward Cullen loved Bella Swan, but her blood is gone and everything points to Jacob Black. Love is chaotic and love is what Edward will feel for the first time as his family and Harry Potter fight to live in peace and happiness.
1. When You Wake Up

**Disclaimer: The **_Twilight Saga_** is the property of Stephenie Meyer, says so in the Copyright. Plainly speaking, I do not own the characters, situations and plot of _Twilight _nor did I make any money from writing this fanfiction.** _Harry Potter_** is the legal property of J.K Rowling. I do not own the characters, settings plots and so forth from the series nor do I profit monetarily from this fanfiction.**

**Author's Note:** Finally, I've posted something after all these long months of nothing. Fortunately, re-writing the story isn't as hard or tiresome as I had thought it would be and writing is going smoothly. I feel that doing it this way will properly introduce the characters and their story and I don't want to leave this fiction with two-dimensional characters and a weak plot. So, enjoy the new improvements!

**For Previous Readers:** The chapters will have content from **I Caught Myself, **but are still vastly different from the original, so I'm pretty sure it won't be like beating your head over with a stick if you read this story.

Also, I'm in search for a Beta. Any suggestions?

**Pairings:**

Edward/Jacob

Harry/Jasper

Alice/Bella

and the rest canon.

**Sorry if the story character thing confuses people!**

**

* * *

**

**Preface**

It was a scene of beauty; of breathtaking romanticism that jolted a place in my soul and weakened a stronghold in my heart. One pure moment that shook the core out of my unfailing resolve.

The utter melting gaze of her love for him and his for her that undermined what I had held so close for so long. It broke in my soul, all the memories where I had placed my glass-thin mirroring of love.

I, a broken man who had lived falsely for years on her innocent brown eyes and wide smile, lay battered in the ruined shambles of my ruined glass love and saw it for what it was. The magic that had until now beat heartily in its conviction; whispered words of warmth untangled, bearing what I had known all along.

I did not love her as the once seductive tendrils of her spell dictated. My body did not want for the solace of her arms once the magic's charm wore away. My eyes did not suffer the absence of her face. I could breathe air that was fresh of her presence, think thoughts that centered no longer on her. I was free of her call.

And I no longer knew how to live.

For so long, it was she that sustained me, she that had controlled my thought and action. Gently fingering the shattered glass I came to realize that my old world was dependent on her; her well-being, her happiness. It overshadowed and clinched itself to form what I had previously thought were my own wants.

All around, the new world ran so clear before me; the roads many and everlasting. I knew not which path to travel. So I sat, surrounded by devastated ruin and traced my false love to the very beginning; to the day I met Isabella Swan.

**Broken Dreams**

Jacob watched pathetically as the girl he had been sure he loved gave birth to a monster. What could he possibly do to stop this abhorrence from being born? Could he rip the thing from his best friend's belly and snap its neck while she fought to see that it lived to 'birth'? The Native American recoiled from the word, a word too loving to call this act. Birth wasn't what you called a vampire chomping at the hardened skin of a woman's belly just to get the wretched thing out of her womb. The thing Bella craved so much she'd risk her life to save it.

He could not condone the birth of a monster, nor its creation, but he was proud of her strength; strength that had been missing from her for so long. She hadn't been strong enough to resist temptation and fell for a leech. She wasn't strong enough to fight for herself and instead fought for _them, _the ones that took away her chance at humanity, at life. She had no strength enough to admit that she did more harm than good with her indecision; weak enough to not be selfish and weak enough _to_ be selfish.

Contradictions in their own right and Jacob vilified her with every chance he got. He detested that she'd rather die; become one of _them_, than keep her father happy. That she'd rather sacrifice a family to cling on to a creature that shouldn't have existed. That she'd turn her back on her family, her loved ones for _them. _For _him,_ a bloodsucker who had stolen his best friend before she had a chance to live – before Jacob had a chance to save her. A fucking Vampire who tortured her frail body in such a way…a stupid fuck – who stole – who took _everything_ he'd known – twisted it – made him fall for –

Jacob flinched back from the cries of the baby, hoping that he hadn't heard those last bitter and hurt thoughts; praying that he didn't catch on to what Jacob had so far successfully hid for so long.

Bella lay there dying on a table and what did he do? Wallow in regrets; in pity.

"Renes . . . mee. So . . . beautiful."

He was struck by the choked gasp, violently pulling away from his tortured thoughts once more. He forced himself to watch, helpless as Edward laid that shrieking thing on her chest. It went against all of his instinct to let him do that; instinct proven right when the beast bit into her.

A wild growl tore from his dry throat and he snatched the ugly mess of blood and leech into his shaking hands, ready to rip the fragile head clean from its shuddering body. He cradled the thing in one hand, the other swiping out to grip its neck when the warmness of it caught his attention and pictures erupted in his head.

They were blasphemous; speaking of a future he yearned so badly for, a future where _they_ would be together and he'd – he'd need Jacob as much as the shifter needed him. A future that could never happen because of _her_ and because of what they were. And Satan's spawn had no qualms in giving Jacob glimpses of that perfect future and ripping away at what little tremulous sanity he had left. A cry shook his body and the baby fell from his hands. He didn't care; it deserved to die. That _thing_ had taken away his best friend; at his only chance of love. It owed him; a life for a life.

It was Bella's failing heart, that once again drug him from his deprecating mind and though he hated what she had brought into this world, the thought of her dying struck a stronger cord in his heart. Here he was accepting her death and she was still alive.

Jacob forgot entirely about the leech's spawn and rushed to save her, performing CPR to the best of his ability while Edward scrambled around for something. When the frantic vampire injected his venom into her failing heart Jacob had to leave, had to get out of there. So he fled, running as quickly as he could to the living room below where he wouldn't have to see the death of his friend.

It all happened so fast and the only thing that was clear was Bella's murderer in Blondie's arm and the changing of a heart above me.

And the fucked up mess Jacob had willingly gotten himself into.

-

Edward watched her pale face frozen in death; heard her furiously beating heart pump his venom through her veins, poisoning her blood. It wouldn't be long now. The venom would soon revive the life within her and screams would begin anew in the room once more. Until then his sole companion was silence. Silence not even the thoughts of his family could penetrate.

_Family._

A small smile lifted his lips. He thought of his beautiful daughter, conjuring images of her newly cleaned form, her all knowing chocolate eyes; eyes that were just like his mother's. _Eyes that held full awareness,_ the thought startled the bronze haired vampire. They reminded him so much of Bella that he knew he'd cherish them for the rest of his days.

A mewl alerted the wondering creature to the beginning change and quickly he made his way to Bella. The venom was making quick work through her battered, broken body, eating away at the little morphine remaining in her system. Edward cringed as her cries of pain mounted. He hated her pain; it worked through his own, wrapping around it in a suffocating cocoon, increasing tenfold – except he could no longer feel her pain. Not a second later he shook the thought away, believing that their connection was probably tampered with by the change; nothing serious to worry about.

Bella was alive. Harmed, but alive and that was all that mattered. Yet, what had been true since the day he had met the little brunette meant little now and what he had feared since first touching his lips to hers had come true.

The sweet intoxicating scent, rich with honey and vanilla that had brought the monster that he was to the surface had finally fled. The scent that had called his heart to hers - gone. It was as if he had been finally released from his chains and he was ignorant in what to do.

The fear that had hidden deep within his subconscious surfaced, and it was strong. It had lurked for years, building in power, pulling in every stray undesirable thought. It yelled that he had never once felt an inkling of the desire that had encompassed his body, shouted that the love permeating his soul was false, a lie twisted to gain advantage over his thirst – an incentive to bite into the weak flesh of her human throat. Edward didn't want to believe any of it; he wanted to sink back into the practiced confines of the safe world he had learned since meeting the young girl. If he didn't he would know that he truly had been a fool, misled by the bloodlust that ruled his body and by locking away his 'monster' he had created a room to place his true self in favor of being normal – as normal and peaceful as the pathetic humans he imitated and wished to be. With the prison of her blood's call gone he would have to acknowledge the love that had been denied of him.

With rage he tore around the once sterile room, destroying the steel that occupied it. It was a long while before his rage melted into frustration, then overwhelming sadness, but still he did not want to acknowledge what had been revealed the moment venom set upon blood.

It was with total calm he re-bent the steel, methodically cleaning the long since dried blood with bleach as he went along. With that finished and he under control, he wandered down the stairs to the living room where his family was gathered.

He immediately went to Rosalie's side where she stood by Emmett and the younger vampire's beloved plasma, cuddling the newborn in long, pearly arms, naked of cloth because of the sleeveless turtleneck she wore. Esme and Carlisle lounged on the sofa, the coven's chosen mother watching the newborn with happy tawny eyes, the doctor smilingly lightly; Jasper and Alice were nowhere in sight.

Seeing his little baby in the blonde's arm drove him crazy and for once in a long time he let his monster take over, reveling in the sense of empowerment. Looking at the sweet, soft flesh of his baby he became attuned once more with the predator he was, his senses enhancing, his thought processes speeding now that they were free from the trying task of locking half of his self away.

Possessiveness broiled under his venomous tongue, eyes hardening to coal as he growled deep and long. _Mine!, _was the catalyst to the anger taking over him, to the borrowed blood of day old bear rushing swiftly through his body, revitalizing his limbs.

"_Give her to me, Rose!_"The threat was clear in his voice, powering the craving to tear her limb from limb because she dared to hold his child, his girl, in her arms. He quivered with forced stillness, willing himself to not attack his sister by holding on to the last rational thoughts left unchained from the blinding rage blinding the usually stoic vampire's sensibility.

Rose shot him a contemptuous glare, moving her body away from his, coiled to spring and he would've hurled himself at her if she hadn't been holding his precious child in her stony embrace. He crouched low; teeth flashing like bone. He wanted his baby _now._

In the back of his mind Edward could make out her frantic thoughts, her desperate need to love a child of her own and raise them to success; her need to care and nurture and be needed and loved with the innocence of a child and with that part he could understand her pain, her want, but there was no way that she was taking his child from him. No way in hell would Edward let that happen.

"I know Rose, _but she's mine._" His words were spoken with the ease of a predator, promises of what was to come, but underneath that; underneath the supple assurance of the future's certainty lay his heart, and his love for the female he'd grown to know and admire over the course of seventy-five years. With that in mind he finally relaxed his rigid position and stood.

Edward didn't want to hurt the blonde vampire; Rosalie was his sister, the stronghold of his family – but he would not let anyone come between him and his daughter.

"She's mine, Rose; my little girl."

She broke under the whispered truth, her guarded expression fell into one of agony and a desperate cry rose from her throat, so pure and broken that it resonated around the room. Her one chance to be a mother was not her one chance at all.

Broken blue eyes stared down at his child as if she were the sun that fueled the earth and subsequently her life before making a slow trek to Edward whose eyes blazed with impatience. Her chest shook with unreleased sobs, her absent tears hitting him worse than he expected. Vampirism, her worst enemy, would never give her the solace of tears.

She handed Renesmee over to him slowly, as if she never wanted to let go of the gift given to her heart and her family; her arms were so still Edward knew there was no control left in her body, she had reverted to a vampire's natural state of being. Her arms did not shake with emotion as she reluctantly handed the squirming girl to the bronze haired vampire, her eyes did not weep, her lips never quivered – she was still as a statue, and that was her emotion.

Edward took the baby from her carefully, and didn't begrudge a kiss to the peachy forehead of his sweet girl.

Rosalie stared at the wonder and fierce love of Renesmee being _his _illuminating her elder brother's face and knew she could no longer stand to hate him for his choices. It tore her up to think that she could've possibly been wrong to oppose him, but she had _had_ to; she had had to admit what the others were too blind to see, she had _had _to stand for the safety of her family when none of them saw fit to and she had been villianized for it. Her opinion had been reduced to pettiness, trivial and worthless among her family's wish for Edward's happiness and the life of a human whose blood sung of dreams magical and a hairs breadth away from his yearning fingertips. For once, Rose was forced to think of everything she and her family would've missed if they had done what was best for their safety and protection. She was tortured with the agony of knowing what was right wouldn't have brought Renesmee to them and confronted with the cherubic innocence of her newborn niece, Rosalie felt true guilt.

The revelation was too much for Rosalie to handle and she flitted from the room, Emmett following shortly after, concern etched on his boyish face.

Edward was lost to the world after that; living on a plane where he and his daughter existed alone. He watched her bowed mouth widened with a yawn, the sound high and cracking at the edges. Puffy eyelids opened slowly as if the world waited on her to act and at this moment, Edward's world did. Thin black lashes fluttered as warm brown eyes gazed alertly at the male holding her and a flurry of images flooded his mind. He gasped as the colorful pictures merged into something coherent and right and Renesmee's first smile was fond as she stared at her amazed daddy.

The century old vampire wondered at his daughter's gift, not really focusing on any particular picture until he recognized a reoccurring face as odd. No concentration was needed to stop the screenplay and he immediately looking at a still of a reddish-gold haired vampire staring with amusement at a large russet wolf running away, a child not yet five clutching his back with a large grin on her face. Stunned, Edward realized the little girl was the very one he held in his arms, the amused himself and the wolf – Jacob Black. What was screamed so effortlessly from the still was pure joy.


	2. Changed Perception

**Disclaimer: The **_Twilight Saga_** is the property of Stephenie Meyer, says so in the Copyright. Plainly speaking, I do not own the characters, situations and plot of _Twilight _nor did I make any money from writing this fanfiction.** _Harry Potter_**is the legal property of J.K Rowling. I do not own the characters, settings plots and so forth from the series nor do I profit monetarily from this fanfiction.**

* * *

**Changed Perception**

The demon that had bloodied and broke and stripped Bella of her livelihood was now curled into the curvature of Edward's arm, tiny feet kicking at his open palm. It was different; seeing her like that with her just-born wrinkly skin all clean and rosy from the slightly cooler air breezing through the open bay windows. She resembled a real child, one that lived and breathed and – _God. _

He was shaking, trembling from anxiety as he had previously seen the vampire do moments before and, he assumed, for an entirely different reason. He was trying; trying so damn hard to connect the memory of Bella, ribs cracked and poking against her skin, blotches of purple welling under the pale cream as blood clotted into bruises, skin tightened to the bones of her face from lack of health and weight – with the wiggling baby, clearly content and intelligent if the sparkle in her eye said anything.

And the way he looked at her…with such love that Jacob pitied the poor fool who caught her heart. Topaz, warm and liquid, set beneath rusted lashes were glued to the sight of his daughter's inquisitive but sleepy eyes. Looking closer he could see the ruby red wrapping around the edges of brown in ragged strips before finally meshing into deep burgundy circling her pupil.

Jacob traced over the ageless paths of Edward's face, absorbed in his thoughts. _It's there in that face where I fell, not because of beauty, but the pain that spread its planes when he looked at Bella; almost as if looking away from her would bring him agony. And those eyes…tawny and shadowed with loneliness; they're so soft now, burning and overcome with love. How can I deny it any longer when it's plain in the longing of my heart to join them? _

_It'd be worth it to play the villain now and know that truth is what cuts his eyes toward mine. It'd be worth it, _he thought, _if the pain was the reaction of my love and not my lies. _

Jacob could see her as if the veneer that had covered her was removed and the newborn baby revealed. The hate that had clung to his bones while he watched the life dim from Bella's brown eyes was replaced with love and it finally sunk in that it was Bella's will to bring this wonderful being to life; her selfless, faulting love that allowed such a gift to be present in their lives.

Renesmee was Bella in quietly flushed pale skin wrapped snugly in a pale yellow baby blanket, Bella in the peculiar shade of twinkling eyes squinting against the puffs of air emitted from Edward's relaxed mouth; Bella's pert nose and rounded cheek. In her mouth and direct gaze her father's blood could be told, but the rest was all her own; the way her eyes crinkled at the corners and pulled down a bit in fits of yawns and content, the constant jitter of her body (surely babies didn't move that much after just being born!) and the baby fine curls of rust.

His chest tightened as Res opened her little red mouth to let out a short stream of bubbles and a small squawk. His heart picked up a beat as a burst of affection shocked him. It boggled him that his opinion of the little tyke had changed so quickly; how she had so suddenly become a living, breathing beautiful baby girl from a _thing. _A thing that had so hideously strewn his world apart and strained the fabric that held his resolve to remain the act he had played since meeting the vampire. A thing that couldn't console the fear he'd be found out and lose the girl that he loved as a sister and the vampire he yearned to comfort and love and protect.

Calloused fingers ached to touch the delicate skin of rosy cheek; mouth trembled with the need to shower her plump faces with kisses of adoration. He wanted to hold her and be part of her life. The need inside him grew and spilled over until tears crested the corner of his eyes. How could he do exactly that when the pain had become too much for him to bear? The thought of separating himself from a special new life and the love he'd been denied was too much for Jacob to consider and so he didn't.

The selfish conviction took hold of him and for the first time Jacob understood the dilemma Bella suffered through when choosing between her love and her life. After a moment's thought he decided he didn't give one God given damn about it – he was staying. Nothing and no one would change his decision.

Breathing was easier to accomplish once his mind had settled down and his course determined. He blew out a sigh of relief as he noticed the missing leeches and then another one when he realized his opinion on the cursed beings hadn't changed because of his love. It proved to him that he still had mind enough to be rational and wait for further proof of their argued 'vegetarian' lifestyle and innocence in leaving humans alone before making a logical judgment of the forsaken; or at least the Cullens – you couldn't trust any damn leech as fast as they could take a life and he wasn't going to start thinking of the whole blood-thirsty race as a bunch of goody-two shoes.

Jacob felt tension gathering at the track of his thoughts and frantically searched for peace and found it several feet away in the direct gaze of scorching honey.

* * *

_It was warm; the kind of warm where your body grows lax and you're pulled into that hazy void of being and everything intensifies. His hands were intertwined with another's whose fingers were strong and colored a dusky tan, thick and blunted at the tips. His own were lean and long, their tips rounded by years of stroking the ivory keys of a piano. The embrace of hands and the hot press of their palms sent shivers through his body, his nerves going in to overdrive to keep up with the delicious play of electricity manipulating his borrowed blood._

_It was nice to feel his lover's body heat mingling with his own for once and he cringed at the memory of Bella's nonexistent heat or chilliness – hers was a temperature that did not affect his; his body, being dead, had an intense chill when struck against human skin. Yet to others of his kind there was a presence of warmth, not unlike what humans felt from other humans. As a result there was something missing from their intimacy; the simple act of brushing her bare arm with his fingers was devoid of physical reaction from him, but the call of her blood kept him chained in such a way that he hadn't noticed until a body held his in comparison. _

_As if his lover had heard his silent contemplations, soulful eyes of deep, dark brown turned to him, a smile lifting the firm, sensuous mouth set in the beautifully crafted face of his mate._

"_You can be so impossibly cruel; especially when you try your hardest not to be." _

_The chuckle flew from his lips, but there wasn't any regret in the fire soft sound. _

_If there was regret, there was no meaning. _

Edward met Jacob's eyes and understood.

When in tears there should be pain, the absolute joy of life bloomed; in his gaze, warm and effervescent, lay the acknowledgement that he would live on and conquer demons which others could not withstand. In his eyes were compassion and love – weapons to heal the earth.

Edward understood turning his back on his past and the unbridled simmering beneath the steel of his skin would ruin the passion for life that had overcome him with the birth of his beauty.

Edward would not turn back on his tears.

He knew then that the floodgates had been waiting for this declaration, for the promise he'd stay true to his heart and never again be taken under with self-hatred. They opened and released a torrent of locked away secrets, airing the long kept memoirs of encounters passed and he was filled to the brim so impossibly that he felt in awe that he could be filled with more. _This is love_, he thought, _never waning and evermore. _

Jacob's face changed before his eyes, each tiny detail cherished in this new place of freedom. The personality that had once annoyed him to bits was now endearing and lovely as it had always been in the locked away, but never quite forgotten place and he could finally appreciate the shifter's spirit in all of its fiery beauty. His husky voice, throaty laughter; all more and more loved as these slow human seconds passed.

When his warmth breached the vampire's skin, a comfortable heat after losing the burn of its fever from breaking through the harsh cold of his temperature, Edward became fascinated with the deep color of brown found in the boy's eyes, so beautiful and open. The lines that had seemed to be permanently etched into his tanned skin, gone and the tightness of his mouth relaxed and smiling. Tears were dried upon the curve of his cheek, but still glistened happy in his eye as he smiled.

It was in that open smile Edward found his love returned and knew that whether they withheld the trial that was sure to come from our newfound love together or not, their love would remain.

Those endless brown eyes crinkled at the corners, deepening in color and heat when he looked down at the wonderful girl nestled tight in Edward's arms.

"May I hold the beautiful girl in your arms?"

* * *

Alice sat at Bella's side watching the change with careful eyes. The venom was already starting to rework her biological composition, knitting her muscles into thick bands that showed in her slim limbs. It worked with the skin, thickening the pliable flesh to steel. The whole process was incredible to the seer who couldn't remember a single detail of her own recreation or the life beforehand.

The way Bella's body arched from the steel table was beautifully erotic, breathy cries rising from a throat exhausted from unconscious screams aroused the desire for her, complicated patterns unraveling to simplicity.

As a wrenching, throaty cry erupted from her chest, Alice placed her hands on newly hollowed cheeks and brushed lips with the pliant pair beneath.

"Soon, Bella, it will be as it should have been in the beginning."


	3. Awakening

**Disclaimer: The **_Twilight Saga_** is the property of Stephenie Meyer, says so in the Copyright. Plainly speaking, I do not own the characters, situations and plot of _Twilight _nor did I make any money from writing this fanfiction.** _Harry Potter _**is the legal property of J.K Rowling. I do not own the characters, settings plots and so forth from the series nor do I profit monetarily from this fanfiction.**

**Warning: Bella-Centric. I know, I'm sorry; but she _had_ to be introduced somewhere, eh?**

**Author's Note: **This chapter is the most untouched of the bunch and has no changed content at all, actually. Bella's as canon as possible in this fic, but thankfully(!) she won't be the whiny, pathetic, personality-less, clingy, childish, selfish, vapid, boring female she was in canon; she'll actually grow up! And get a personality! And FRIENDS outside of the Cullens! Who's jumping for joy? I certainly am:D

**

* * *

**

**Awakening**

**Bella**

The pain of liquid fire eating my blood, devouring my insides, burning away the fragile skin of my human body raged for an eternity. It ate away at the light, throwing me into a perpetual, never-ending black and I feared I would never escape; never again taste the dew of morning or bask in the sun's light with eyes stung of its rays, never again feel the cool of Edward's skin or the succulent sweet of his lips, his tongue.

_Edward._

Edward's skin shining in the sunlight; dazzling and blinding; Edward's crooked smile of lips, a mouth I feasted on greedily, never enough, always wanting more of those cold firm lips pressed against mine; that cool wet tongue thrusting against mine so hot that the two temperatures clashed and burned a new taste; a new song of desire.

Desire never ceased, never faltered in its hold over my fragile body, my wicked heart; never trickled but rushed like torrents through my body, undulating hips that wished to never stop the hot dance of excitement and pleasure and delicious sin of the flesh. The fire of the venom could not eclipse that first moment when I had truly experienced pleasure so intense; it ripped through my chest, tightened thighs that curled around his hard waist and hands that clenched at anything at all. So much, too much; that icy newness of his harshly cold body connecting with my heat, ripping away at the innocence that I had internally no longer held.

It was not innocence that had first led me to Edward, not innocence that entrapped me to him. It was something bigger; something dark and enthralling in its temptation. Temptation to succumb to baser pleasures and ride along its rough swell until all was drained and gone and nothing remained but the satisfaction of release until the next ride began. A lure to forget all that my life had been and settle into a new one; a life thrilling and full of excitement and danger; I did not want to be the seventeen year old who took care of her mother, her father; the seventeen year old who didn't live a life at all, rather drifting through it automatically – on autopilot, never tasting, never hearing, never seeing, feeling; until Edward.

In the Forks High School cafeteria lights of harsh quality failed to tarnish his beauty, beauty that struck me as odd; the first caresses of attractions needling my chest.

There were many who thought me drawn to his face, the alabaster face of an Adonis, but no. What had first called to me were those eyes. Obsidian and burning with raging hate and disgust; eyes that pierced me to the very core, trembling the flimsy platform that I had so far stood on and slamming me into a life that I could no longer see myself without.

Seated in the Biology room where the Temptation first licked the shy edges of my impressionable heart, the threat of _something_, thick and monstrous and alive, stretching its lithe tongue to lick the sensitive crevices of a soul unclean and awkward; a soul young and foolish and naïve in its own right. Encompassed with twenty-two others and yet so alone and wanting. The overwhelming fear and shock at such intense hate and the destruction of fragile wood underneath strong hands.

Veiled in the dark romantic of the restaurant's dimmed chandeliers, the shadows sharpening the planes of his hard cheekbones, darkening the threat of topaz to my senses, swallowing him in its softly whispering allure; where I had first recognized the Temptation for what it was, fingered it hesitantly with smooth fingertips, unsure but faltering along this new rocky path. The first time I was truly drawn under the rich music of his voice, drowning, drowning, until the little strength I had left fled and, resigned, my body floated along the gentle swells of Edward's tongue.

Surrounded by the unfettered beauty of the meadow; long strokes of lush greens and dark browns all around, the magnificence of this simple beautiful nature nothing against Edward's sparkling, otherworldly skin blinding me with its piercing glitters of the sun's luminous rays. Words of something deeper and an obsession that linked us together, spoken so intensely tender the world had stopped and all that remained was this meadow and us.

The first thrill of the run; tightly latched around Edward's chest with the cold radiating off of him so strongly, seeping into my fragile skin and bone, warming the part of my heart long forgotten and disused. The feeling of freedom and abandonment; of constrictions and a reality so far away, but shifting closer the faster he ran; gliding effortlessly through the trees, collages of browns, greens and gray rushing past my eyes in a whirlwind of movements; lingering in my tender chest and ending so quickly. Temptations tangling like thorns around me, trapping my heart in its relentless hunger.

Sitting in the cab of my Ford, so dizzy and breathless, body slack and softened from the run, heart speeding miles a minute, when his request came. How could I resist in such a moment? A moment of bliss and exhilaration and dizziness where his request was all that had preoccupied my mind all day, days more even, when thinking of him was the only thing that helped me survive the sunless, airless days without his presence. Submitting to the yearn deep inside myself, pressing soft lips against hard mouth, desperately fighting to keep him in my arms, in arms so weak they couldn't stop his retreat; arms that ached without his body to fill them. Longing, always longing for more, for deeper, for harder, forever.

So many more memories that I held with an iron grip close to my heart, never wanting to forget them, to forget him, he who made life worthwhile, worth living. I prayed to a being that I didn't believe in, prayed to the deities of civilizations long abandoned, faithfully reciting my devotion so that I could hold on and keep where we had begun, where we had grown together, past this transformation of body, of creature.

The blissful haze slowly retreated from the edges of an ambushed mind; awareness creeping in as the long, eternal seconds passed. Sounds, murky and dull, began to clear, sleepily at first but quicker and quicker, becoming sharp to my ears.

"…stopped…been…it… hours." Lightly whispered caresses of skin against skin and heavenly music.

"Coming…nicely…perfect. _Ours._"

"…gone…no way…knowing how…pain."

"…downstairs…_blank_… see anything. It's frustrating." A slam upon steel. Laughter drifting up the stairs.

"Edward's fear is ridiculous. Nessie understands; she _knows_." Melodious scoffing.

"Two minutes. _Yes_, I said so, didn't I? Jazz go fetch Edward." Impatience, fiery of the Fae.

_Edward_. Edward who had not been here throughout the many diluted conversations spoken for however long I heard. Edward, whose presence I had not once felt in this room; only the light rhythmic steps of Alice and the sleek movements of Jasper. Carlisle's soothing baritone had been here as well as Esme's flowery scent.

A rumbling of footsteps burrowed into the room, all defined noise to my ears.

And suddenly, finally he was here. With me.

I opened my eyes and for the first time, I _saw_.

Saw true light, its glittering sheen coating everything, still managing to cast shadows long and full, but transparently clear. Minute grains of the wood and the thin, unnoticeable lines that separated the strokes of paint visible. Minuscule balls of black floated all around, hitting my tongue with flavors unusual and interestingly so.

The air had a feel to my newborn skin, a soft pressure of comfort. I wiggled a toe and felt the _push _against the barely there pressure, my amazement prodding a gasp from my throat. The indifferent, somewhat queasy feeling of air leaving my lungs caught my absolute attention and for some time I found myself experimenting with this unfamiliar lack of air. I pulled it into my mouth, feeling it travel the path of my trachea, tickling the sensitive walls, the swirl of it in my lungs prodding laughter and with it the air from my body.

"I think Bella has lost a few of her brain cells during the change, Carlisle. You may want to check that. And quickly." The smug feminine voice jerked me to attention, my gaze roaming towards the sound of sweetly stroked harps. I wasn't surprised to see Rosalie's raised brow or the warm compassion in her ever blue eyes. The sudden wash of relief and pleasure overcame me; I had been worried that our bond had been broken with the ending of my pregnancy.

Other words were spoken, a chastisement from Carlisle I was sure, but none of that mattered more than Edward. Edward's face without the gauzy film masking its picture. This new seeing of him was nothing compared to the distant memories of my human life, pale and droll to these healed eyes. There were no words that could describe the planes of his face; no words to describe how much more they meant to me now that I could finally, truly take him in.

"Edward." His name rolling of my tongue with an unfamiliar voice, melodious and reverent of him.

I leapt off of the table in this encompassing need to be in his arms, to tightly meld myself to him in hopes of never being separated. It felt like I had only to think it and it was done; I moved so swiftly in my passion to get to him. My arms locked around him, the satin of the back of his neck warming the patch of forearm that pressed against it. My body molded to his as I intended; my breasts heavy against his chest, belly pressed to taut stomach, thighs rubbing together in movements that sent zings of desire racing through my body. I nuzzled my nose into his neck, basking in his scent of musk and sweet and heat.

It was when my lips grazed his cheek in the slightest of touches he flinched and I meekly remembered the strength that I now possessed. I pulled away quickly – albeit reluctantly – from Edward, giving him a self-conscious smile at his frozen body and pained face.

"Sorry. Forgot about the stronger than you part of it." I anxiously scratched the back of my head, starting to frown when the pained expression on his face didn't lesson and the others in the room started to take on the fidgeting of humans.

"Did I really hurt you badly, Edward?" That seemed to knock him out of whatever state he was in and he appeared to see me for the first time.

"No, you caught me off guard. I'm usually the one practicing self-restraint." His laugh sounded false, even to me.

I shrugged off the uneasiness at his actions, putting it on anxiety and relief at my well being. I focused on other things; the beating hearts for instance, coming from downstairs, strong and assured, the other faster than the flight of the hummingbird.

The flow of blood from the heart made my mouth water, throat growing dry in immediate thirst. Jasper sensed this, going into a crouch that the others followed. Rosalie escaped through the door, her footsteps heading downstairs. The lowering of Judge Judy's voice caught my ears. I paused for a moment, wondering if I really just heard the current case involving a middle aged man suing a thirteen year old over an iTunes account.

Carlisle was the only one who remained upright, a smile on his peaceful face. "You must be hungry, Bella. I had some questions to ask of you, but that can wait for later. Edward?" His gaze went to Edward's crouched form, obviously sharing some thoughts through Edward's mind reading ability.

Hesitantly, so slowly that my chest began hurt, he straightened from his crouch. His tense body betrayed his blank face; he was prepared to attack at a moment's notice. The pain deepened, becoming sharper knowing that Edward thought that I could be a threat to any human. Realistically, I agreed with their precautions. I, myself wasn't sure if I would be able to resist such an offer of blood, easy and accessible, but the heart that had stilled of its pumps ached.

The hurt was worse when one of those heartbeats had to belong to my daughter. _Renesmee_. Her name, the threading together of my two mothers created figural spurts of joy in my belly. I tried to recall her face from the sunken memories, pulling up an unclear, hazy image of her cherubic face and body, bloodied and smiling. Warm in my cooling arms. I wanted to see her; _needed _to see her.

I locked eyes on Edward and spoke her name, carefully wrapping my mouth around it, tasting the love I had for her.

I expected his face to light up with happiness at her name, with the ingrained love that I myself mirrored for _our_ daughter. A daughter with beautiful baby curls of brown and tiny fingers and chubby limbs. I expected to see pride; I expected to share the love we had for her with our eyes.

All but the latter came as expected. The happiness was bright, tangible to us observers, so strong that we could feel it in our own hearts. It exploded with more tender feelings, of resilient love that was so strong it slammed into me. His pride for her glowed in topaz iris and as he still held my eyes, I saw that he wasn't connected with me. Wasn't connected with what I was feeling for her, for the two of them, but for something else. Something that in no way equaled what looks he had for me; this greater expansion was something otherworldly – and it didn't include me.

Some part of my distress must have showed on my face, for Jasper growled and I winced knowing that he could feel what I was. This sick, petty emotion that I was ashamed of feeling, but couldn't rid myself of. Jealousy.

Jasper's growl shook Edward out of his trance and he took on a sheepish face.

"Oh, right. Sorry Bella." His apology felt too sincere; like he was apologizing for something more than wandering off into his thoughts. This worried me greatly. I felt the huge acre of time that I must have missed more intricately than I had before this time. It was like I had been unconscious for years and a niche so wide that an ending couldn't be seen separated us.

It was this worry that escalated to fear and my blurted question.

"How long was I…incapacitated?" Edward blinked at me, delving into another trance. I was quickly becoming frustrated with whatever kept occupying his thoughts. It was Alice who answered me when the silence almost became too much for me.

"Not long. Two days and a few hours." From the look on her face, I knew that she had indeed counted it out to hours and this at least soothed me. Alice always had my back.

A soft cry redirected my attentions to the floor – or more accurately, downstairs. The hunger to see my daughter and calm her cries rose in me and I unconsciously shifted toward the door.

Instantly, Jasper and Emmett barricaded the door with their bodies, bodies tight in a defensive position.

A smooth warm hand took mine, surprising me and I began to crouch and tense before I realized that it was Edward. He smiled at me and everything righted itself in my belly. Of course I was overreacting. Of course I had no reason to worry. Worry about what was really nagging me but I impatiently pushed that aside, focusing on Edward.

"Let's hunt, Bella." He tugged on my hand leading me as if I was blind to the window. At first I could only stare out at the expanse of lush greens and forests. He must have thought that I was appreciating the scene with new eyes, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. It took a while, 1 minute actually, but to my new sense of time it was a long while, for me speak.

"Why are we looking out this window?" A low chuckle rumbled his chest and I immediately felt stupid.

"This is our exit." It took a minute longer for me to understand and then like lightning I did. He was telling me we'd leave the house via window. I frowned, not comprehending why we would when we could just use the door. I flicked my eyes toward said door at the thought and understood. The two blockheads were blocking it. Which led me to thoughts of the beating hearts and blood heated flesh. The thirst then flared in my throat. Needless to say, I felt like a right fool to remember that I had to avoid the living beings in the house, until this thirst was conquered.

All that came from my mouth was "Oh."

Emmett's louder than necessary laugh caused even more embarrassment. Edward, being an even bigger conclusion-jumper than me thought I was still hung on confusion.

"This is the only convenient exit, Bella. Jacob and Renesmee are downstairs." Those jeweled eyes of his lit up with passion that I had never seen before, leaving a longing inside me that I refused to comprehend. Jealousy was eating away at me again; noticing the favor Jacob and Renesmee's names had to mine; how they sounded more than the world's knowing of love, something celestial and everlasting. Next to theirs, my name sounded like an everyday object of no importance or specialty.

It was hard to quench this jealousy when Jacob, someone that Edward never particularly cared for as more than a protector to me, suddenly sounded like his most treasured being.

Out of spite I whispered, "Is Renesmee…okay…with Jacob there?" This question caused the opposite effect then I wanted in Edward. Instead of the slash in his confidence in Jacob – what else could it be? – A surge of loyalty darkened the color of his eyes, his lips tightened oddly and his fists clenched in obvious anger. For a second I wondered if he caught the undertone in my voice, but is next words squashed that thought.

"Jacob would never hurt Renesmee, as I thought you would never dare insult someone you hold dear to your heart. Renesmee is very precious to him, to _us_. She is the safest she could be with him as any of us and if there was any doubt of her safety, I_ know _what he is thinking."

I abruptly felt very much the monster his furious eyes and cadence held me out to be. I flinched at the thoughts that spoke of Jacob in a manner that was dreadfully far from my best friend. The best friend that I had just bashed in a fit of jealousy. The satisfaction that Edward held at my understanding shamed me more than his words did. The feral look he gave me lowered my eyes.

"Do you need a demonstration Bella?" Jasper – glorious Jasper who had saved me many times since my awakening – interrupted the hostile atmosphere, calm smoothing the ripples of antagonistic emotion. I watched as Edward shot him a grateful smile, a smile that tinged with apology. Did the escalation of feeling pain Jasper?

I found that I couldn't speak when I tried to answer him, a great ball of tension in my throat; I nodded.

Edward leapt out of the window with the grace of the animal he loved, landing with the barest crunch of grass underfoot. I peered down after them, forgetting all of what just went on in favor of the tight craving that burned wickedly in my belly.  
To say I was anxious would be an understatement. I was off the wall frightened. How the hell was I to make it all the way down there? The sliding of silk alerted me to the dress that covered me, constricted and revealing and not at all for the use of jumping. I shot a glare at Alice who's only reaction was a sly curve of luscious mouth. In answer to that, I kicked off the ridiculous strappy heels she must have put on my feet and threw them at her. She rebelliously caught them in her right hand, grumbling about my lost sense of fashion.

Playfully I stuck my tongue at her and leaped out of the window after Edward. Surprisingly the jump was slow and I easily settled unto the grass, imitating Edward's earlier bend of the knee to absorb the impact.

Edward was off as soon as I touched the ground and I figured he was as impatient as I to see our daughter.

It was simple to be unaffected by how quickly he taught me to hunt. We had a bit of shaky ground when I came upon some hiker, but to the despair of my burning throat I managed to turn away and pick up the scent of deer.

I savored every moment of the chase, relishing and rejoicing in the capture of the deer. Triumph made me giddy and in excitement I threw my arms around Edward and kissed him – except my lips never touched his and a second later my arms were empty and I was staring at a horrified Edward.

I winced at the knowledge that I had once again injured Edward and my hand moved to caress his cheek, but he was already gone; fleeing through the trees in a whirlwind of bronze and white.

Frustrated, I followed him back to the house. I understood that the need to see Renesmee was great, it had never failed to leave my mind the moment it entered, but this was getting ridiculous. It was almost like he was revolted every time my skin touched his.

I was faster than Edward and yet he made it back before me, due to his head start or my furiously working mind I didn't know.

I broke through the trees a minute or so after him and found my family lined in front of the back porch. To my immense displeasure Jacob was standing a little behind them, holding something in his arms. To my further enrage me, Edward was standing closely to him, so close they touched – neither seemed to mind.

Jacob shifted his body toward me and through an almost non-existent space between Emmett and Rosalie, I saw her; bigger than a two day old should be. In _his_ arms. I watched as Jacob's thumb brushed against the toddler's cheeks and Edward's head leaned closer to his, murmuring words of comfort. Words that my sharpened ears caught.

"It is okay, Jake. She won't hurt her. She is Renesmee's mother after all." Unlike the loathing and loyalty Edward's voice held when defending Jacob, this reassurance held nothing but vague affection for me.

Blood clouded my vision and I lunged at the three, one instinct overriding all. They were _mine_!


	4. Told You Once

******Disclaimer: The **_Twilight Saga_** is the property of Stephenie Meyer, says so in the Copyright. Plainly speaking, I do not own the characters, situations and plot of _Twilight _nor did I make any money from writing this fanfiction.** _Harry Potter_** is the legal property of J.K Rowling. I do not own the characters, settings plots and so forth from the series nor do I profit monetarily from this fanfiction.**

**Warnings:** (Sorry, I forgot these in chapter one^^)** Explicit Slash, explicit FemmeSlash, Violence and slight Bella bashing.**

**Author's Note:** This was supposed to be out on sunday, but Eve came and bestowed upon me her sins and all. Next update will be in two weeks; I have loads of studying to do. I just realized I use a lot of semi-colons and I like to use certain phrases...a lot.

**Thanks for your reviews and alerts!**

* * *

**Told you Once**

Edward was a rational male; methodical in thinking and practice. Logic remained as the base of his thought and action throughout his existence – vampire as well as human.

However, like any conflicted male in a crisis, he was prone to instinct and spontaneity. No one threatened his mate and child. The instinct, basic and primal, to _protect family _that lurked in any predator's belly thrummed in his blood, starved the beast's craving for blood. Venom dripped from his teeth in pools, spilling from his snarled mouth, trickling down his strong chin. Rage colored his eyes with blood, pulled lips back to bare vicious, gleaming teeth, and brought him into an offensive crouch. A growl ripped from his throat, eager and threatening; calling for action, for a _fight_.

His fingers buried deep into the earth's soft ground, dirt purchasing under the nails, grit against smooth skin. His body prepared for to attack.

The threat was already leaping towards Jacob and his child; its body arched gracefully, its limps perfectly aligned and held straight. The rage that had been merely simmering now boiled over and furious roars escaped as he took a leap of his own.

Jacob gave a warning snarl to the both of them, worry thickening its threat. _Edward, think of Renesmee. Think of what this would do to her…_all the while teeming beneath these worried thoughts that ran of the same strain, overwhelming anger sped his heart; its beat harsh and loud and furiously fast, working the adrenaline and wolf's blood – blood of the Alpha – bubbling it increasingly as the wolf anxiously tried to claw to the surface. The only thing keeping it at bay was the little girl in his arms, protected and cradled to his chest, his strong back facing the enemy.

_Edward! We will get her. Do not do this to yourself._

_**I will tear you to shreds if you dare lay a hand on her!**_

The reassurance of help, the warning, did nothing to soothe what thrived like wild fire in his chest or the bloodlust in his system. The manic vampire registered Carlisle's plea and Alice's threat slowly and quickly grew angrier; they were all in favor of the pitiful creature before them.

The viper who thought she could threaten his family without repercussions.

The insult pushed his body harder, propelling him at such a speed Bella did not see him coming, but she was not looking at him anyway. Her attention focused solely on the animal that had the audacity to take her daughter into its filthy arms. The sight shocked a possessiveness in her that brought with it an enraged disbelief. She could not understand why the bastard stood there in all calm as if he would not suffer punishment for dirtying the hands of her child.

The sickening notion had her teeth clenching, the muscles of her fingers tightening as they stretched toward the handsome column of neck feet away from their straining tips. _How dare he?!_

A hard body slammed into her from the side, forcing her to the ground with a force that knocked her newborn strength to nothing. Vicious teeth tore into the curve of her neck as if it were pudding, ripping flesh from muscle as smoothly as water fell away from the palm that lay beneath it. Screams bloodied her throat as nails dug pathways into the skin of her arms and the pain intensified into a horrible crescendo. She had never thought a vampire could feel pain and how wrong she had been, for the pain was alive in her now.

She searched frantically for Edward; desperate for his help. Edward would always protect her. Their love wasthat strong; certainly he was on his way to aide her, but when she found him something in her cracked. The strong shield of her trust for him peeled away, layer by layer; the instilled sense of immortality gained in her human life was gone, the fear and risk of death or ugliness crawled back in through the fissions as her world shattered around her. It was worse than the terrifying pressureof her skin being pulled from her body, for this was a pain that settled itself deep, sought purchase in the tender meat of her soul to begin, piece by piece, extracting the sanity his love had gifted her. She could feel, by the tiniest fraction of a second, her reason to live forced away from her soul and she desperately did not know what to do. Who was she without Edward? What was she, to make him treat her in such a way?

Her eyes were wide in doe-like surprise, mouth slack in a human expression she should not have known, but still seemed to be encumbrance of. Edward took pride in this defeat, a thicker satisfaction than the wreckage of her body permitted him. Still he took from her as the lowest part in him wanted to strip away everything held close to the being known as Isabella Swan. His beast was calling for blood, for her destruction, for the sheer ability to hold him prisoner for so long. He could not stand being at the whims of a child, and to have been as weak as to not escape on strength of his own was a blow that he did not wish to feel. He needed her to suffer as he did, needed her to understand she was to be punished for –

A yell of outrage, hearty and spine-chilling, emitted from bared teeth as the body of his brother took him from his kill. _I have not done enough! I have not yet broken the bone of her limb nor tore the vile tongue from her siren mouth… I must have my revenge! She, who dare raise a finger against my family, shall be punished! She shall be battered until her blood stains my skin and fills my mouth! _He threw himself against the force that dared hold him back from the cunning female he had successfully been held captive of with the song of her witch's blood; _I will not rest until I see her torn in to fleshless chunks and burned for her witchcraft!_

Jacob watched in horror as the scene unfolded, at the degradation his love suffered as he raged at the injustice dealt to him. A part of him howled at the sight of his mate being held back from doling out the penalty the female deserved, but the human recoiled at the injuries his best friend suffered and the gruesome sight she beheld. Flinchingly he covered the round eyes of the squiggling girl in his arms, never mind he had had her had burrowed in his armpit since the first move had been made. He growled contently at the thought, glad that she had not set eyes on the bloody scene and he licked his maw, relishing the fact that he had; the same side that screamed for action rejoiced in the assurance of his mate's strength and security; a mate who took no qualms in protecting his kin. All in all, Jacob was disgusted and he was proud; he was conflicted.

The little girl, barely three in appearance, wiggled some more in his arms and even went as far to nip at the skin of his elbow. She wanted to get out of the tight hold, it was uncomfortable even if it was her papa and she already saw enough of him anyway; she wanted her mommy.

Jacob whined in response, "Not right now, May. Sit tight for a minute." His eyes were glued worriedly to the heaving back of his mate.

Edward was preoccupied with his victory and thirst for more. Calm settled in his belly, returning the slice of humanity he greedily held close. It was he who wiped the sour sweet blood of her defeat from full mouth and strong chin; the humanity lidded his eyes from her form which presented itself as weak and defenseless. He was satisfied with his sister and brother when they came to the broken vampiress' side; Jasper taking the girl to his chest and Alice feathering kisses to the slack face she knelt in front of. She offered words of comfort and he heard the thoughts that she believed she hadn't had the right to have before.

He didn't want to hear them or the poetic verses Alice used to describe the frightful female she desperately cared for. Edward was simply glad for that care because he couldn't muster an ounce of it.

With wounds knitting neatly together and words of comfort bestowed upon her, Bella continued to don her ruin, a limp and shattered weakness that refused to leave her mind. He could read from the bowl of her eyes that she did not comprehend what had happened to her; her mind was working hard to bring a semblance of sanity and to keep from madness, Bella needed an anchor.

Unfortunately, Edward was done with the job.

"Don't _ever_ threaten my family _again_," he roughly snarled, teeth barely separating to release the words. He needed to get it through her head that they were non-existent; they're marriage merely a blip in the map of his life. Luckily, the matter could be easily dissolved; he couldn't imagine having _that_ bind with her for the rest of his eternal days.

* * *

May struggled in full battle mode; kicking, punching and biting to get her papa's attention. Smart girl she was, she made sure never to puncture her papa's skin; she didn't know what adverse effects might happen.

Funnily enough, Jacob was laughing at the frustrated little girl. He clearly enjoyed her little play and took it as a good sign. He was happy she wasn't devastated at the violence her mother undertook from her father. Leah and Seth urged closer to the pair yipping joyfully or in Leah's case, giving snarky barks of laughter.

_Bad, Edward._ Though the two words held a soft chastisement, they were interwoven with deeply engraved affection.

_Renesmee's in a fit over here and all you can do is water over your conquered. I am very disappointed in you, idiot. I think she's about ready to burst out of her skin!_ He laughed with the thought and his grin grew to overtake his face, brown eyes glowing with happiness.

Abashedly, the rust haired vampire straightened and rejoined his mate, anguished and ashamed at the displeased grump on Renesmee's perfect little face. Renesmee's head finally popped from Jacob's armpit, a snarl twisting her mouth; unlike her papa, and cousins she was not happy one bit. She wanted to get down and _see_ her mama. She wanted her all better.

Her dad growled, but she ignored him in favor of persuading her papa, who had all intentions to reunite mother and daughter. He knew what it was like to never have a mother; he didn't want that for his little girl. He was grateful she had stopped her struggle she had been so adamant before her little foot almost damaged him. Jacob smiled fondly at her cherubic face, a beautiful face of rosy cheeked ivory that was quickly losing its roundness. Edward ached with the assurance of her accelerated growth and he cursed the reality it presented. Jacob, however, was focused on the mulish set of her mouth and the glare forming wide set eyes of burgundy.

Jacob knew Edward did not like the thought of handing May over to the female who had threatened them harm, but he needed to understand that Bella went after Jacob and had no intention whatsoever to harm Renesmee.

He stared at the stony expression settled in the vampire's face and smiled at how similar he mirrored his daughter. The two were stubborn and so set in their own ways resulting for horribly funny moments for she was only two days old and showing superiority over her doting father.

Right now Edward was imploring the exact opposite of what he was thinking with deep, coal eyes and Jacob considered hitting the man in the face. _You are such a cheater, man, but you are _not_ getting your way. May needs a mother and I need a friend._

* * *

May couldn't have given a mind to the silent battle her papa and daddy held. She was too busy staring at her mother. The pain was alive in the brunette's face and it did not sit well in May's stomach. She wanted to comfort her mama who loved her enough to stand all the pain she knew carrying her had caused. She couldn't love her mother more than what she was – a nervous, selfish wreck who loved too hard.

Her papa set her down on the soft grass prepared to tell her father off for being the jerk he knew him to be.

"You can't keep her from her mother Edward. It's obvious that Bella loves her more than anything; she was willing to die for May! Does that mean nothing to you, the suffering that she went through to bring our baby girl into this world?" Papa was yelling at daddy now, hands on his hips, shaking with irritation.

She ignored them after that; all too aware of the little time she had to get over to her mother. She faced her aunt Alice and Uncle Jazz with determination painting her childish features. Bella stared in her general direction with a stricken face, obviously tormented by the demons rummaging through her mind. May did not like to see her mother that way; she wanted her to be happy and free with her love, not fixed on her daddy like he was the only person who existed in her whole world. It wasn't healthy. She had other people who cared and loved her and she needed to understand how cruel she was being to them.

Pudgy hands settled into the mushy, soft ground and she tried to push herself up, but she wasn't strong enough yet. Frustrated she pounded the ground, wishing she was old enough to move around on her own.

* * *

"Mama, here!"

The aggravated cry brought the fighting couple's attention to their child and abruptly ended the dispute in Jacob's eyes.

He linked his fingers with Edward, relishing the first private touch between them. He didn't dare do anything that might've brought his feelings for the vampire to light for the past two days and this simple contact was ecstasy to his senses.

"Edward, bring Nessie over to Bella _now_." Jacob said this softly, hoping his gentle manner would coax Edward to do the right thing.

There was a short silence, in which Edward took it upon himself to try to stare Jacob down, but the Native American was having none of it and soon the vampire admitted defeat. He untangled their joined hands as if reluctant to let go, but the shifter didn't dwell to long on it, chalking it up to wishful thinking.

Edward reluctantly picked up the shaking girl, his mouth pulled into a grimace. Jacob's heart sped up at the gentle way Edward touched her and he wanted so badly to join them, but he wasn't theirs and he would always be Papa Jacob: friend of the family. It hurt him deeply to know that and he could only gaze at his destroyed friend with jealous eyes as she was approached by the people he loved whole-heartedly. Jacob wanted to believe that Bella didn't deserve the love she received, but who's to say that he did?

* * *

Oh, she was beautiful; an angel with Edward's face and her eyes and hair. How could she have made such a gorgeous child when she had been naught but an ugly, gangly human? Bella was happy that her child didn't take much from her human form. Renesmee had to be the loveliest child she had ever seen in her life; nothing of her was plagued by the plain disease many humans carried within their genes. _A jewel brighter than Botticelli's little angels…_

A smile pulled pale lips into a semblance of a smile, softening the intensity of crimson eyes. "Renesmee, _my Renesmee._" Shaking hands reached for the straining girl, and Alice smiled down at the revived woman in her arms.

Edward stopped a healthy distance from the trio making it clear to the way he wanted things to go. She didn't like that he was so far away and urged him to come closer with her eyes, beckoning him with her fingers; she couldn't wait to be in his arms again. Surely, he had acted that way to protect her and got carried away. With their strength it was simple to do that, right? But he wouldn't step any closer then he stood now and turned to her with hatred masking his eyes.

Edward couldn't conceal the animosity steeling through him if he tried; it showed in the rigidity of his arms, the clenched jaw and grinding teeth cloaked in venom. Regret was alive in his soul until her eyes conveyed the hysteria and he realized she would not understand him if he continued to leave things as they were.

**Bella **

My little girl, m_y _Renesmee. Mine more than any other, more than Edward and _him_ and the rest of the Cullens. My baby who matured in my belly for such a short time, grew from my life to her own and away from me so fast and now she was _mine _again. Real and corporeal in front of my very eyes and hot in my embrace.

Edward handed her to me with reluctance and I wondered if he was worried I would harm her. That hurt.

The tears denied of me wracked my body and my voice broke as I hummed a lullaby to my daughter. Another smile bloomed from my lips and I looked up wanting to catch the eyes of Edward's which would be shining with unparalleled love for us – but they weren't. Eyes that should have been topaz from the recent influx of animal blood were hard and black, burning into my chest with a warning that struck blows to my heart.

_Why Edward? Why must you look at me with those eyes…eyes that aren't mine?_

My voice broke off from their endless stream of humming, my mouth opening. I _needed_ to know why Edward was acting so strangely. Why Jacob and Edward had been…Why Edward had attacked me so harshly. I winced in a human way even though I knew that my wounds had finally knitted together, counteracting the venom that had battled mine for dominance minutes ago.

"I don't understand Edward." I spoke slowly, carefully, not wanting to incur his wrath.

Edward's face changed with my words, smoothing to become blank. He surveyed our family around us and I couldn't help but snarl at seeing Jacob still here as well as his two pack mates. Edward glowered at me, sharing a look with Jacob.

"Bella, you have to realize you were never meant to become attracted to me nor I," he winced; briefly finding Jacob with what looked like apologetic eyes before continuing," Nor I to you. I never expected to encounter a _la __tua__cantante_ before and never had I planned what to do if I came across mine. You were a complete surprise to me, from your silent mind to your scent; an enigma that I wanted to dissect and understand, however I couldn't hurt my family with your death and ran. I came back because it hurt to be away from my family and I was hurting them by being in Alaska. I also couldn't forget you, Bella. I _needed_ to know why you blocked my telepathy and not Alice's sight. You were the puzzle I couldn't solve.

"I came back set on finding answers, but the longer I was around you the more I could see only _you_." He stopped talking and I smiled at him, happy that he was recounting how he fell in love with me, although it confused me that he chose this moment to confide.

Edward sighed, hand flying to his hair and began to speak, tone strident. "Then Tyler came close to crushing you and one thought made me risk exposing my family – I couldn't lose the scent of your blood. It called to me seconds before the danger, the smell thickening and sweetening and pulling me so that I _had _to save you – had to make sure your blood wasn't spilled and wasted. It's funny because I never understood Aro's words until the smell of your blood was burned away by my venom."

Edward caught my eyes again, imploring me to understand what he was saying, but I didn't. Why was he talking about my blood like it was corporeal and what did he mean by Aro's words?

"'_But still – la tua __cantante__! __What a waste!'_ All you ever were to me is gone with your human blood. Blood that was nothing but a savory meal that I had wasted by keeping you alive and turning you. Bella you are nothing to me without the call of your blood; you are only the mother of my child."


	5. Story Update!

Wow, okay. So, I never thought I'd be saying this…but I'm taking up A Heart's Disbelief again!

Honestly, I cannot remember if the story was ever adopted which probably means it wasn't. If it was, I don't think there'd be any fault in continuing my own story since they'd be completely different from each other.

The only spot to get over now is finding the few other chapters that have been written that I took down for editing – I won't get access to them until later this week since I'm away at college and the file is on an old laptop.

See you again soon!

Kipp


End file.
